Term Summary

Object-Oriented Analysis & Design: A+
Management Communication: B
Leadership & Team Building: B-
Introductory Statistics B: D+

To conclude my year 1 term 2. Already expected to score at least an A for OOAD but was expecting at least a C for statistics... The summary is... trying to juggle 2 jobs, full-time studies and managing friends ALL at the same time just isn't as easy as it seems! The result does not lie. For the first job, I'm always late as rushing to meet the working hours, the second job, i have MC sometimes, for studies i haven't really done as well as i expected and for friends I think i haven't done a good job thus far.

At least, during the 1 week study week, I should have at least practiced my stats, if I did, probably i wouldn't have done so badly. But most probably, I'm running away from it as I have totally burned out both mentally and physically, I know that because sometimes I just could not control my emotions!

This term has really let me learned about my limits, an ordinary man is never a superman, there is always a limit to how much can be done. With this experience, next term, I will strive to do a better job by managing my time better and select the appropriate work load.

To conclude, I'm not as young as before, working as young as from 16 just doesn't serve its purpose, I'm so tired... so very tired... I really hate the life of now... I want to change, I want to live in a country where the pace of life is not so fast... I'm only 23... but it seems as if I have walked 43 years of life already, I want to slow down, really really slow down... For those of you who always wonder why I take things so lightly and do everything slowly, walking, eating etc. This is the reason why...

A man is born not to fulfill any responsibility towards the family, the society, the government, the country or to the world. A man is born to be responsible for himself and make his own life an enjoyable and meaningful one, doing what he really wants to do and being responsible for it, and enjoying everyday as it goes by. You can have a general plan of what you want to do in your life, your future, but never make any detailed plans for it, because every stage of your life, your thinking will change for definite. If you planned so far ahead to work like crazy for the first 30 years of your life so you can enjoy thoroughly for the next 30, so what if you die during the first 30 years of your life? Just be who you are, enjoy everyday as it is, live a carefree life. Sometimes, it is good to slow down, and to observe... Are you enjoying your life as it is? Or are you simply living through your life as it is?

Take time, slow down and think about it... I'm old, way too old for who I really am. How much stages of life have I missed? Countless... How much fun have I missed out? Countless... How many mistakes have I made? Countless... Reflecting through life, if I can relive my life again, I would have definitely chosen a different way to do things...

To A: I'm so sorry that I had said I love you, in fact I don't... If I do, I would have done things quite differently, maybe it is just infatuation...

To B: I really really love you back then, but because I'm not experienced enough and I thought things way too futuristic. I thought that "friends go a longer way than a bf/gf" and I gave a big lie and tried so desperately to go after other girls just to forget about you. This is an action that I have regretted ever since and it kept me from being interested in any girls for these 5 years... To date, I still love you just that the flame is kept to minimum, because I knew I have blown my chance away 5 years ago. Thank you for forgiving me, thank you for accepting my apologies, if else I wouldn't have been able to continue progressing in my life.

To C: Thank you for being there with me whenever I really need you. I always thought to maintain a relationship, you really need to spend time and effort in it but you taught me otherwise. So many times I have been angry with you for not being able to give me your time, but to you, it always is you tried to squeeze out any time you have for me, everyone is different, I shouldn't have expected too much from you. Though I have taught you a lot about life, this one lesson you gave me is much much more important. You always seem so boyish but sometimes you have the girlish element inside you as well. You have so much secrets in you, sometimes somewhere near the future I hope I can be a listener for you. Sometimes, you just do some stupid and silly things, because you never want to believe in what other people taught you as you are way too stubborn and want to learn it through the hard way! Please listen to what I've just told you, be more careful, because no matter what it seems, you are still a girl. I still enjoy the slow walk with you, enjoying the wind blowing, it seems you don't really like it but you still accompanied me, thanks! Maybe one day I will love you as a girl, I do not know my heart, but now you regained my faith in you as a friend. If you ever need any advice(if you ever listen), or just need a listening ear, you know I'm there for you.

To D: You have been a very close buddy of mine for years and have taught a lot of things to me, be it good or bad, we just need to experience it at least once to understand. Please quit your gambling addiction as it is really harmful to your life, I sincerely hope you can do so. Find a girlfriend, keep yourself away from all these harmful addictions, relive your life, a life is never too long, take the chance, turn back as early as you can. I'm missing your company, please come back soon from all your trips. I want to see how you have become, and "preach" to you again to stop your harmful addictions. But in all, I know you are still a very great buddy of mine for letting me owe you $1k for nearly a whole year hahaha! And I really enjoyed your companionship for all these years and all the things you taught me.

To E: You are the only other close buddy that I have for all these years. I have never blamed you for luring me into gambling. The more debts I run, the more dangerous I would understand gambling addiction would be. Thankfully I've managed to get rid of this addiction. Thanks for the loan of $1k to repay my debt even without me asking you for help. And thank you for all the countless help that you have rendered thus far. You have been a great company all this while, but maybe without you, I would have gotten a girlfriend already? Hehehe, I'm just kidding. I'm really really thankful to you for all these years, all 3 of us, super close buddies, never ever concern about when is whose turn to treat each other, we really need to get together, I miss the times we 3 had together, so enjoyable. I would never have been able to repay your help towards me all these years, but definitely being able to bring you and Ms Ngoc together is the best repay I can ever have towards you. I'm forever correct in my judgment, you 2 should be together for years to come, please "employ" me to be your bridegroom as I wish you a happy life forever and ever.

To F: You are my dearest up till now. I've never meant to be of worries to you, I just want to be truthful to you. Please do not worry for me, I can and would take good care of myself, it is just me who is forever vulnerable to illness, trust me. It remains a fact that I truly love you a lot, and I really miss you a lot ever since you went back. Every second, I would think of you, I just can't help it no matter how rational I can be, I can never turn the fact the other way round. I know you care about me and sometimes you might love me a bit, how I wish I could have met you a year earlier, you would never be hurt and we could be together... But if I come to SMU a year earlier, there is a chance that I would never have met you... Thank you for making my life this term an extremely enjoyable one. I could never state a reason why I love you simply because I love you for who you are. Please try to change away that bad habit of yours for always thinking and bringing unnecessary stress and pressure to yourself. I think I might failed in my promise to visit you this summer back in your country and in the promise that you will see a hot man after the summer. I will always be around for you whenever you need me. I don't know why, but all I want now is just to hold you and hug you. I know you are enjoying your times back there with all your friends, but please just do not forget about me. How long more can I be there for you?

To Mum: You are the greatest mum ever! I've never blamed you for letting me live a life full of hardships as it helps me to grow and be more sensible and mature than most other people of my age, it lets me be more experienced in life. There are times I would shout at you for being naggy, please know that it is just because I'm feeling frustrated at that time, and never meant to hurt you in any way. It hurts to see you struggling at your old age still working with all the illness and pains to try and support the family. You are the greatest mum ever and I still want to let you know that I love you the most. How I wish I can graduate soon and fulfill my promise of letting you live a carefree life.

To Brother & Sister: If it had not been your sudden desire to just go for graduate studies, mum wouldn't have to suffer so much if both of you continue to work. I do not forbid your action as it is for your own good, but please graduate early to relieve the pressure off mum. My sister, you have got to stopped being so blind to trust that guy so much, he is just not worth you! My brother, you have slimmed down so much, it is time to think about marriage at your age.

To other friends: Though most of you are more likely considered as acquaintances as we don't really talk to and about each other often, each and every one of you made a difference in my life.

Hahaha... why am I saying this? I do not know why, because life is filled with so many uncertainties, I hope if I never have a chance to say these, at least it is still here to let all those involved know. If I live through the ages, this post will certainly brings back memories of how I've felt in my 23rd year. I hope, I hope, that the list continues...